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Old 05-14-2013, 09:39 PM
madmotomike madmotomike is offline
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madmotomike Curb Monkey
Default Classic Bike..classic Weaponry. Why Does My Rib Hurt?

“IT” would have been “mine” too…..my wife and I “thumb wrestled” to decide if I got to take it home ..or not! She cheated and I suffered a rare defeat and subsequentally went home empty handed.


I was surprised to find it at the flea market . I really really wanted that old slightly (a lot) bent rusty “EPEE”. One of the tools/weapons used in the sport of “fencing”; the epee is the stiffest of the three and there fore has the highest potential “pain” factor.

The very minute I picked it up ..my rib started hurting and my mind flashed back to the fall of 1978 when I was a freshman at Appalachian state university. Harboring a romantic link to swordfighting and the adventures of the three musketeers; I had signed up for fencing as an elective.

Did I mention that I was totally ignorant of the realities and techniques of the sport of fencing? Possessing all manner of misconceptions and assumptions I “plunged” into the course with excitement and aggression and an absolutely ignorant attitude. I secretly felt that I had potential as my arms are quite long and I am quite tall. THIS should give me some kind of an edge!?

I also realize that a lot of the best fencers come from the far east…a land which also gave us table tennis with all its speed and fury. Hey I play table tennis….the fencing is gonna be way kool!

IT ALL WENT OUT THE WINDOW ..the first time I took a thrust from an opponent/practice partner that struck me right in the rib!! Hurt like hell in spite of the protective gear!!!! OHHHH MAN DID IT HURT!!

Hurt so bad that I dropped the course and walked away completely until I picked up the EPEE at the flea market! Funny thing is that my RIB starting hurting almost immediately too!!

But wait….there is sooo much more potential in this epee…I tried reasoning and rationalizing it acquisition! I HIT HER WITH IT ALL!!

It would be great dealing with pets and such as well….
Could use it from my CLASSIC sr500 motorcycle to deal with cell phone users while riding on the expressway…TALK ABOT RESPECT!!! YEAH GO AHEAD AND CHANGE LANES ON TOP OF ME!!
If I become a teacher ; it could be used as a “pointer” helping to maintain focus on the lecture or for dealing with those that dare nood off in my class.

I could really use it to take care of that mean and arrogant rooster “FUNKY” ! yeah the very same one that “gored” me in the lower leg. If I had that epee it would have been a different story!!...........BIG TIME!!

I pointed out to my wife that it would be a dandy “zombie” killer. Quick and efficient ; would have kept the “WALKER” POPulation under control for sure!!
Since we will be heading to Georgia for family reunion …AND…..everyone knows that GEORGIA is thick with walkers. The epee seemed a very timely solution.

Then there is the mountain trip on the bikes at the end of the month. Heading to the high country…and north Georgia specifically with rick lee , rod mc, jb, and the rest of the Fayetteville lunatics. The epee could travel with me and provide protection from the “walkers” and the bears and even rod mc when he and "THE CAP'N" are partying at TWO near suches ga!!

BEST OF all it WOULD fit very handily on my yama thumper ...would not be in the way at all..

It would have been really neat….but ..ALAS it was not to be! The wife fought off all my well thought out reasons that I should have THAT EPEE!

She used a cunningly quick lateral attack to “pin” my thumb and end any hope of becoming a musketeer!!....hell or even a legendary “zombie” killer!!

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